How I lost my index finger building a coffee table

How I lost my index finger building a coffee table

So there I am, in my shop, in nature, truly in my element, having just a smashing good time drinking a bevvie or two and building some awesome stuff for the store.

I had been using some pretty hard-core glues to fasten the boards together for the top of this table i was working on, so naturally I was a little light headed from the fumes, it happens...

When I was in a particularly dreamy state of mind, I set down a circular saw without noticing that the clock had recently rolled past midnight and as I turned my back for a moment, I noticed my Mogwai had gotten into an errant ale left on the counter. Well... anyone who grew up in the nineties knows that if your Mogwai gets wet after midnight, that sucker's gonna pop out some Gremlins. 

Long story short, the Gremlins being nasty, mischievous, ill-hearted little creatures, they worked together, fifty at least, to pin me down and proceeded to take a finger using the lead gremlin's cigar cutter (why did he have a cigar cutter?!). My best theory is that they were planning to use this finger as extortion to send to my dear family and try to get money to fund more mischief. 

So we end, I'm down 1 finger,  it never did make it to my family, but the Gremlins robbed me blind and took the rest of my beer AND my Subaru! I promptly took the Mogwai back to the store I had purchased it at, but the vendor was then nowhere to be found, so I drove it into the woods of upstate NY and just let the little fella run free.